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52 Book Minimum

How to Talk to a Widower - Jonathan Tropper 4.5 Stars

29 year old Doug Parker was barely getting his life together when his wife Hailey passed away. Now she’s gone – and so is he. It’s been over a year and he is barely functioning. He rarely leaves the house and avoids any interaction with his family (including his stepson who was also left behind when Hailey died). The only thing he’s managed to do is morph his monthly magazine column from a “how to …” regarding celebrities to a “how to talk to a widower”. Doug’s twin sister, Clair, decides it’s high time Doug get back into the real world that includes both leaving the house AND getting on the dating circuit again.

There just aren’t enough words to express how much I love Jonathan Tropper. His characters seem so familiar to me, his dry humor makes me belly laugh, and his understated dramatic moments make me feel all of the feelings. I’m attempting to spread out the remaining unread-by-me Tropper books at this point so I don’t find myself having withdrawal symptoms when I come to the end. Get writing, Jonathan, ‘cause I’m waiting for new stuff!
Dead Ever After - Charlaine Harris Being that this is book number 13 in the series, I’ll assume no synopsis is necessary and just get down to the nitty-gritty. My relationship with Charlaine Harris and Sookie Stackhouse has been like a bad marriage. I should have got out around #9, but I kept making excuses and thinking things would get better. Sadly, they didn’t. Boy does this series show that the power of the almighty dollar can rule all. Harris has been phoning in book after book, using the excuse that “she writes for herself” and “you can’t please all the people all the time”. Yes, Ms. Harris, lots of authors write for themselves. Those same authors at least give half a rat’s butt as to why their fans love them and sure as shit don’t sell the rights of their books to create a television series that has hardly ANYTHING in common with the beloved novels. I’m so sad that I wasted so many years/dollars on Sookie. I could give a crap who she ended up with (I’m fairly certain EVERYONE saw that coming although many have differing opinions) – I’m saddened that a series that I once loved ended without a bang (hell, it barely made a ripple). Seriously – 338 pages of hearing how well Sookie’s yard was thriving? Ugh. Good luck to you, Charlaine Harris, but I WILL NOT be reading anything else you write.
On the Island  - Tracey Garvis-Graves 3.5 Stars.

17-year old T.J. is in remission after battling cancer. His mother has decided to celebrate by having the entire family spend the summer in the Maldives and has headed there early with the rest of the family. T.J. does not share his mother’s excitement (especially after learning 30-year old teacher Anna will be tagging along as a tutor to get him up to speed with his schoolwork) and sought a few day reprieve from the vacation by staying in Chicago. He and Anna are en route to the vacation home when the pilot of the seaplane they are on suffers a fatal heart attack and crash lands in the middle of the Indian Ocean. They make it to one of hundreds in a string of inhabited islands, but how will two city dwellers ever survive living on a deserted island?

I will gladly admit one of my earliest guilty pleasures was “The Blue Lagoon”. It was so awful and campy, but I just looooooved it so when this popped up on the radar in the middle of July, I was all in. This book brought back all of those old feelings and was the perfect summer read. I was prepared for it to be all porn-y and get squicked out by the age difference of T.J. and Anna, but it wasn’t like that at all (a pleasant surprise). Recommended to anyone who wants to read a better-than-average romance novel and escape for a day or so.
Big Ray - Michael Kimball Written in a series of half-thought snippets, this was an unusual little book. Big Ray, who has just died, was an abusive tank of a man. His son is writing this book as a kind of catharsis – reliving his painful childhood in brief bursts. I have a feeling on any given day my opinion of this book could fluctuate – today it only gets a 2. I picked it up because it was one of the library’s recommended reads for the month. I’ve never read Kimball before, so I’m not sure if all of his work is this strange or not. At this point I have 387 books on my “to read” list, so I probably won’t be curious enough to find out any time soon.
Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) - Mindy Kaling Quick confessional: 1. I am unequivocally in love with David Brent, therefore I have never cheated on him and watched even one episode of the American version of The Office. 2. The only thing I had ever seen Mindy Kaling in was that Ashton Kutcher/Natalie Portman movie that I can’t even remember the name of, but that I know I liked better when Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis were the stars.

That being said, I wanted to read a funny comedian book and have already been through Tina Fey, Kathy Griffin, Jenny Lawson, Chelsea Handler and Sarah Silverman. (Another confession - I REALLY wanted to read Dad is Fat by Jim Gaffigan, but there’s a waiting list.) Good news is, Mindy Kaling’s book is funny (unlike Sarah Silverman’s horrible snoozer). She’s funny enough that in a state of insomnia I went on The Demand channel and queued up an episode of The Mindy Project. Highlights for me include her top funny moments of comedy (although, seriously Mindy, expand your horizons and realize that Caddyshack/Animal House/any other disgusting late 70s/early 80s comedy geared toward men is HILARIOUS), explaining to men over 30 they should not have any “flare” on the butt of their jeans and other helpful hints of how they can be great without even trying, questioning any woman who goes without underpants, reconfirming that the album Graceland by Paul Simon may be the best thing ever put on vinyl, contributing (as everyone who ever writes a comedy bio should) an Amy Poehler is the best person in the universe and oh my God I want to be her BFF story and, finally, confirming that I may have one of the most successful marriages around (although we watch Big Brother rather than The Bachelorette, we totally could come to fisticuffs back in the day if one ever dared watch an episode of The Sopranos without the other and we high-five our mutual awesomeness quite frequently).
Mule: A Novel of Moving Weight - Tony D'Souza 4.5 Stars. When the economy goes in the crapper, what other option does James have but to become a drug mule in order to support his newly pregnant wife?

Well, okay, there may be other options, but they wouldn't have been nearly as much fun. Talk about an adrenaline rush. This was non-stop from start to finish. If you want high stakes at a pace that makes your heart race, this one is for you.
Where She Went - Gayle Forman Everyone ready for a wishy-washy review? Yep, me too, so here goes …

3.5 Stars. Let me preface this by saying curses to you, Stephenie Meyer, for practically making it a constitutional amendment that all YA books have at least two parts. Where She Went picks up on the story of Adam and Mia three years after Mia’s accident. About 99% of the book takes place over the course of one day/night (with flashbacks filling in every couple chapters or so) and reminded me a lot of those Before Sunset/Sunrise/Whatevers movies that bring Ethan Hawke and his rogue chin pubes back to relevance and out of the welfare line every few years.

While I wanted to hate this book for being so unlike If I Stay, I just can’t. For me, it lacked the depth/complexity of character/storyline of If I Stay, but it was such an adorably sugary sweet romance that I just couldn’t bring myself to hate it. Sometimes even a Grinch like me needs to read a book just for the warm fuzzies of it.
Billy Lynn's Long Halftime Walk - Ben Fountain 3.5 Stars. Billy Lynn and the other remaining members of Bravo are American heroes after having a fierce battle with Iraqi insurgents televised on Fox News by an embedded news crew. After a quick patch job on their wounds and receiving their various Purple Hearts and Silver Stars, Bravo Squad has been dispatched on a two-week media tour across the U.S.A. Billy Lynn’s Long Halftime Walk follows the men on the final leg of their journey – a Dallas Cowboys game on Thanksgiving Day.

Disclaimer: If you are looking for a feel-good, happy time story, this is NOT it. Although there are humorous moments, this is not an upbeat novel. I always hesitate to write too much because I never want ANYTHING spoiled for me, so I’ll just leave it as this book was a real heartbreaker.
Every Day - David Levithan 3.5 Stars. A has never been the same person twice. For 16+ years he wakes up each day in a new body. He can access basic memories in order to fake it through the day, but doesn't usually feel like doing more than the bare minimum. That is, until he meets Rhiannon. While occupying her boyfriend Justin's body for the day, he spends a few magical hours with Rhiannon and discovers that he can't get her out of his mind (no matter whose mind he is using that day).

David Levithan is a master of teenage love stories with a unique twist. This book did a wonderful job of explaining "same love" through the various characters A had to portray each day. While I don't find Levithan to be as deep and able to transcend all ages as John Green, he still writes wonderful stories.
Plan B - Jonathan Tropper 3.75 Stars. Ben, Lindsey, Jack, Allison and Chuck have been friends since college. On the verge of their 30s, they are each faced with the question of "what am I doing with my life?" The most pressing issue is Jack's growing drug problem, which is going to dealt with by the group as a full-on kidnapping scheme in hopes to get Jack clean.

Although you can tell this is Tropper's first novel (characters aren't quite as complex, story doesn't roll as effortlessly), his promise of brilliance still lurks right below the surface. If you are old enough to remember and love "The Big Chill", then you'll enjoy "Plan B".
He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys - Greg Behrendt, Liz Tuccillo Another time this probably would have received a 4-star rating from me. Since I've been married for 119 dog years, I think he's pretty much into me (and after that long, when he's not I really don't mind). I read this at the pool and attracted a couple of "awe, poor you" looks that made me giggle.

I thought this would be more tongue in cheek and not an actual self-helper. It had amusing bits and I think ALL women have had that ONE friend who could be bashed in the face with this book and STILL not get it so those cringe-worthy memories gave me an extra chuckle.
Choke - Chuck Palahniuk Victor spends his days working as an indentured servant in Colonial America. He spends his nights rotating between attending sex addicts anonymous and faking his own untimely demise by choking in high-end restaurants. Once saved, Victor then maintains contact with said rescuers in the hopes that they will send him enough money to cover his mother’s monthly nursing home bill.

Chuck Palahniuk is a very polarizing figure in modern day literature – you either love him or hate him. I fall into the absolutely adore him category, but I still find it nearly impossible to write a review for his books. His brain works in such mysterious ways that a synopsis is the only safe bet to prevent spoilage of his masterpiece. Let’s just say that, once again, his words read like poetry of the most demented order.
Ready Player One - Ernest Cline 3.75 Stars (and I hope ya’ll get why). Wade (a/k/a avatar name Parzival) lives on an Earth that has been depleted of all natural resources. Like most people, Wade has spent most of his life escaping his impoverished reality by spending as much time as possible in the virtual utopia that is OASIS. Five years ago the creator of OASIS passed away – leaving no heirs, but a series of clues that would unlock his fortune to the first one who could solve all of the puzzles. Wade has become a full-time gunter, trying desperately to win the competition in hopes of giving himself a life he could never (even in virtual reality) dream of.

I was REEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLY looking forward to this. High expectations probably resulted in more disappointment than had I known NOTHING before starting, so here are the negatives. 1. Information overload. Cline explains EVERY. SINGLE. MOVE. SOMEONE. MAKES. IN. DETAIL. which made for some lag time while reading. Seriously, at times it felt like I was reading the instructions to an actual quest. (On the other hand, this might not have been a complaint at all if I had listened to the audio version). 2. I also do not need to read the stereo instructions of how things like an OASIS visor or haptic suit works. Assume that people have one iota of imagination left in their pea brains and can figure out the basics of how virtual reality operates. 3. Know your audience, Cline. The people who are fawning all over this book are übergeeks and superfans. The synopsis explains, quite clearly, that Halliday was obsessed with everything 80s – assume those who are picking up this book are too. 4. My final complaint is in addition to #2. How can you write a novel packed with ultra-80s trivia and not have Laslo Hollyfeld appear somewhere in the book ; )

Luckily the good outweigh the bad. The plot is totally unique. The characters are well-developed and likeable. Although I had complaints as listed above, it was still a fairly quick read and not one that I wanted to put back on the shelf at any time. Cline truly knows his 80s pop-culture like the back of his hand and it doesn’t matter if gaming isn’t your thing. He’ll throw in enough television, movie and music nerdbits to satisfy everyone.
The Spectacular Now - Tim Tharp Serious question, WTF is Sutter Keely’s medical diagnosis. No one in the world can be this big of a d*^kface without falling somewhere on the spectrum of mental illness. The synopsis is, Sutter is a “party boy” a/k/a huge f-ing boozey loser who has absolutely ZERO self awareness. This means he has no idea he is the butt of the joke rather than the life of the party. He meets a total nerdo (complete with a wardrobe of horse t-shirts – I mean, really?) and proceeds to drag her on a downward spiral with him.

This book sucked. With all the wonders like Green, Levithan, Rowell, Chbosky, etc. that exist in the world of YA romance with serious undertones, why would anyone want to waste their time on such a one-dimensional P.O.S. like Sutter Keely???
NOS4A2 - Joe Hill 4.5 Stars. Vic McQueen has been taking the Shortaway Bridge her whole life – finding misplaced items. Sometimes it’s a bracelet, sometimes it’s an answer to a question, sometimes she only has to go down the street, sometimes she goes across the country. Charlie Manx doesn’t have access to the Shortaway and he certainly doesn’t have much interest in helping people. Instead, he uses a 1938 Rolls Royce Wraith with vanity plates stating “NOS4A2” which he uses to whisk children away to “Christmasland”. When Manx gets a hold of Vic’s son, will she be able to use the rickety old bridge one last time to save him????

Joe Hill has done what I am finding few new authors are capable of doing – he’s completed a trifecta of amazing tales. I was surprised how quickly I breezed through this novel since real life kept getting in the way and I actually put it away a couple of times to protect my own sanity. The suspense that Hill created had me on the edge of my seat through a giant chunk of the book. The only thing I think I loved more than the dangling carrot of terror that he constantly held in front of me were the massive shout-outs to nerds everywhere. References to superheroes, Firefly, Game of Thrones, and a fat dude leading man made me love him a little bit more.
John Dies at the End - David Wong If Harold and Kumar swapped some DNA with The Ghostbusters and were birthed by Hunter S. Thompson on a Hitchhiker's Guide through the galaxy, you might end up with something kind of close to John Dies at the End. I had ZERO expectations going in to this book. I knew nothing except what I read on the book jacket and the fact that Wil Wheaton didn't think it sucked. I ended up on a full throttle, high octane, wild, grotesque, hilarious, vulgar, long, strange journey and I'm so glad I did.